Hey its the “Big Southern Guy” here. So I’ve been in the dating world for awhile and its not a pretty sight out there folks. I took the plunge and did one of those online dating sites like eLonely.com and learned some real truths:

Most of the profiles are fake, nobody is ever going to contact you or respond, there are more people like Caitlyn Jenner in the world than you can imagine and if you are a straight white guy they will hit you up for a date.

Anyway in the course of my online dating exploits I met a Children’s Minister, she was a great gal and had many redeeming qualities. One night we were talking and she told me that her friends thought I had a cute accent. Wow! I thought her friends are checking me out! In all honestly I do have a cornbread and turnip green accent from my home state of North Carolina and love it when people try to guess where I’m from. On an elevator one time this New Yawker asked me if I was from Alabama and of course it pissed me off. I told him no I was from North Carolina, and he said so you’re a native, and I said yes and sometimes we still scalp Yankees!! To make a long story short the relationship ended but the thoughts about my accent persisted. I was self conscious was it really okay or did I need elocution lessons? I embarked on a new romance with a Physicians Assistant and one day after a movie she suggested we grab a bite to eat. I said sure where do you want to go and out of her mouth came the name of one of the quintessential southern eateries that have impacted southern cuisine, décor, and dining since the mid-1980’s: Cracker Barrel. Of course I would love to go to the Cracker Barrel, no southerner can pass up those chicken dumplings or the Coca-Cola cake. So we get to the Cracker Barrel and are seated and the waitress comes over and takes our order. Now being a true southerner I requested Chow-Chow relish for the beans that I had ordered (try it before you judge Yankee!). When the waitress brought our food out she sat my plate in front of me and I saw that I had no relish. In my nicest southern gentleman voice, I said “Ma’am I had requested some of your Chow-Chow Relish, could you please bring me some?”. She immediately replied, “Where in the world are you from? Mississippi?”, I said “No, Ma’am I am from right here in North Carolina, born and raised.” She then proceeded to insult me and the entire state of North Carolina by the next words she said “Really, I can’t believe you are from North Carolina, your accent is so RURAL and hickey”. She walked off and my date said, “I always wondered how to describe your accent, it is rural. Glad she pegged it for us.” I was completely livid. As an educated person holding three college degrees of advancing difficulty and who just happened to be raised in a rural area, I took the comment as a slur! In North Carolina we have places like Charlotte, Asheville, and Chapel Hill where people want to forget what state they are in but guess what folks North Carolina is RURAL, and Southern and some of us true southern boys may have an accent and you may hear it if you visit Dunn, Mocksville, Shelby, Kinston, or one of the other fine cities and towns overlooked on the national news maps. I may have an accent but I have impeccable manners, I defer respect upon my elders, I yield for dogs, cats, deer, cows, and tractors. I have not ever and will never touch a woman in a way that she has not first asked me too, I may have a gun on my person but I am not about to shoot you unless you are disrespecting someone’s property or person and only then if a quick punch in the face doesn’t diffuse the situation. Yes I am a college educated, forward thinking person who has stayed in 5 star hotels, paid $200 a plate for dinner and rubbed elbows with Governors and Senators as well as people who would consider themselves celebrities, and in spite of all that I have a RURAL accent and I am proud of it. My roots and heritage run through North Carolina as much as the red clay belt that stretches from Wilkesboro to Fayetteville and if someone wants to belittle me because of my accent then they should be ready to face the consequences. In the case of my date it meant that she no longer gets to enjoy the company of this southern gentleman, and in the case of the waitress it meant she received a 25 cent tip.

So when you are addressing a southerner don’t ever mention the accent– it is our badge of honor and we will not see it besmirched!!